More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
