You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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