i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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