Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
