I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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