its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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