She's JV to your varsity
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize