Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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