i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
