Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
