He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize