the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
