You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
