I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
