You really coming over, don't trick.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
