If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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