how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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