Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
