I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
