For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
