Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
