This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
