I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I didn't notice because vodka
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
