Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
