did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
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She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
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As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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