Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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