Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
