i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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