I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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