I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
