just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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