i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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