WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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