You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
