I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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