i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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