sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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