oh god the rape fog is back!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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