Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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