you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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