My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
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I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
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