pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
