First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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