Need sex. Gaining weight.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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