yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
