Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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