i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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