That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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