The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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