mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
