Ketchup is God's man juice
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
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he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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