Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Rumble strips road head = magical
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
