I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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