i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
