they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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