I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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