dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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