Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
