it wasn't lemon gatorade
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
