3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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