And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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