Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
