her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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